Updated: Jan 22
COVID-19, How I do love thee. Let me count the ways...
This year has been unreal and I'm sure that we can all agree. Every day I hear a new story of how this pandemic has changed someone's life in ways I've never thought of. From parents who aren't getting refunds from their child's private school to people whose entire profession has been completely eliminating.
Most of my friends in entertainment have left Los Angeles and returned to their hometowns while we await some level of normalcy. 2019 Ended, and I was ready to kick some serious but in the new year. A bit of networking and a ton of emails secured me my most lucrative summer yet, so I thought.
A few months into quarantine and every gig, slowly but surely, was canceled. No music festivals, no concerts, no large gatherings of people - No need for photographers. My next plan was to make sure that this would never happen to me again. Planning my next move became my only focus and lucky for me, I have options BUT... Well, just but (we all like a good but).
Will I continue to open the store I've been working on? Am I really done with photography for a while? Freelance gig'ers getting aid and unemployment has been a massive failure and people I know like me, are simply drowning in COVID-19's deep waters. I've literally changed everything I could think of in my life forcing change. If you're not changing, learning, or experiencing, you are NOT growing.
If I want to travel and work online on the road, I am the only one in charge of making that happen. Living a life that's more consciously aware of the impact I'm having on this planet was just as important and also a change only I could make.
So I did it, I made the jump - Sink or swim! I bought the tiny, downsized my life yet again and forced myself to make it happen. It was going okay even though I still felt stuck and unsure, which is very new territory for me.
Relationships & Connections
Working on yourself is one thing, tossing bad and un-serving relationships out of the window is another. Recognizing relationships that hurt or aren't pushing me towards my higher/greater self started to help me see who truly deserved my time and energy. Snip snip, cut and shave, my circle shrunk significantly.
COVID once blended with the BLM movement, removed so many veils and masks, revealing the true and sometimes shocking opinions of people I thought I knew so well. Again, the circle got even smaller.
Then there is love. Love has been hard for me in general the past few years. I've learned a new type of love and appreciation for those closest to me. With all of that came the realization that I may not want the traditional relationship that is expected of us in this society. (That might have to be a different blog altogether)
I've been married for ten years, the past few have been spent separated with the divorce papers slowly being taken care of. Like many others in this situation, so much time and thought was spent wondering if we are making a good decision, the right decision. I don't want to get into what brought to this point because that's for us. What I can tell you is I found it hard to evolve in the relationship, feeling as if I needed to stay the Tameka he had met. She is very different than who I am today.
Like everyone else, I just want to me be in every way that I can.
Trying Something New
Psychics and tarot card readings aren't too crazy considering the circle I hang with now. My gal pal Kristen often reads my cards when I go to her house. When I worked at WYLD 94.9, Gary Spivey gave me a fantastic reading that truly helped to clear up blocks, getting me out of my own way.
Jae Rae was introduced to me through a friend. Her reputation is outstanding and she also happens to be Jennifer Lopez' personal spiritual guide, and J-Lo seems to be doing pretty okay so...
Of course I was hesitant. It took me months to reach out and book my session. Feeling defeated is not my thing, never has been. So screw it, try something new. Her reading was so good and someone out there is going to watch and say the opposite, and that's okay. At the end of the day, she helped my find a peace in all of this.
As a strong believer that social media should be used to share our lessons and experiences, recording the session was a no-brainer. Plus, so much was said and I didn't want to be taking notes, being present for this was an absolute must. Watching it a few times allowed me to hear the message, and now you can too.
I know I'm not the only one right now feeling like this. I'm right there with you. It's time to shake things up, turn it all upside down, shake out the sand and lay it in the sun. As we say on set, "Back to one people".
I'm okay. I'm on the right path, I have options, trust my intuition, let it out, let it go. Continue working on manifesting a life of abundance that will get me back to living my souls highest purpose.
Oh, and my dad - He's still here lovin' on me.